Is it truly possible for someone to be unlovable? Can I be one those people? Those are two questions I have been asking myself a lot lately. I don’t feel that it is my personality or looks that can make me potentially unlovable; I feel that it is my fear. I don’t feel I am good enough to be loved.
I am direct and to the point with almost everything in my life, yet I lie to myself everyday. I tell myself that I don’t care that I haven’t had someone interested in me in years and if I have I am oblivious to it. I care; I care so much it borders on obsession.
Everyone has his or her strengths, mine happens to be that I am a good bullshitter. I am the used car sales man of life. I can make people feel they are the center of my world when in fact they are just a number. They are the means to me making more money. After long interactions that happen outside of my job, with friends and such, people have the ability to see my lack of substance. I like to say I give good face however all it happens to be is face.
When did I become so damaged, why did I become so damaged? Are there any real answers to these questions?
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