Ok so I have a confession to make. I LOVE OLIVES!!!!!!!!! They are perhaps my most favourite food ever. Random, oh sure, but it is my blog so it doesn’t fucking matter. While I prefer green olives, I hesitate to rain on the parade of the black olive. Green just have that little something extra, they give ya a kick in the ass and make your mouth pucker. I am not only talking about the supermarket jar green olives but the olive bar green olives as well. In fact that is where my love of black olives comes into play. While I think the canned black olives are a far inferior olive to the jarred green olives, black olive bar olives rock my socks off. I love when I go to tapas bars and as a welcome gift they will put down a bowl of the yummy deliciousness known as olives. I also love that a lot of my friends do not care for this particular type of food, so I get to eat them all.
Ok I am done with the diatribe about my love affair with olives, but no fear as soon as I think of more to say there will be more.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
A pit of loneliness
I must say that it is a very long time since I have written anything, although this is just for me I feel it is important to document my feelings. I have been feeling rather low lately, I can’t figure out why that is. I know that I don’t really like my job and that is definitely contributing to my unhappiness but what else is it? I have lost 50lbs and when I look in the mirror I still look the same, that makes me sad. Today is my 30th birthday and I am not dealing with it very well. Not a ingle one of my friends sent me a happy birthday text message/network or gave me a happy birthday call. They did celebrate with me on Saturday but I would have liked for them to acknowledge it is my bday. I must say though that my party rocked for the most part. I still felt very lonely, but ended up getting laid so that was fun.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Human Behavior
So I started this blog with a rant of self-pity, great way to start off on the right foot huh? Not that it really matters because I am not writing this for people to see. If people stumble upon it that’s ok to.
While I may not be a particularity-gifted writer I do appreciate the talents of people that I feel are. One such person would be David Sedaris. He has the ability to write passages that make me laugh hysterical hyena laughter. If people hear me as I am reading something of his I am sure that they would think I belonged in a mental hospital heavily sedated. Anyway I had the opportunity to watch/listen to him speak last night, he was utterly brilliant. There were times that I was laughing so hard I had tears pouring down my face, just like I would if I was crying. He has he ability to show the absurdity of human behavior.
I had a better day today than I did yesterday. I think some of the helplessness I was feeling came from the fact that I have very few going out friends. I have particular bars I like to go to, but the majority of my friends like to go to another type of bar. This has made it very hard for me to meet the type of people I like.
While I may not be a particularity-gifted writer I do appreciate the talents of people that I feel are. One such person would be David Sedaris. He has the ability to write passages that make me laugh hysterical hyena laughter. If people hear me as I am reading something of his I am sure that they would think I belonged in a mental hospital heavily sedated. Anyway I had the opportunity to watch/listen to him speak last night, he was utterly brilliant. There were times that I was laughing so hard I had tears pouring down my face, just like I would if I was crying. He has he ability to show the absurdity of human behavior.
I had a better day today than I did yesterday. I think some of the helplessness I was feeling came from the fact that I have very few going out friends. I have particular bars I like to go to, but the majority of my friends like to go to another type of bar. This has made it very hard for me to meet the type of people I like.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
My rant of self pity
Is it truly possible for someone to be unlovable? Can I be one those people? Those are two questions I have been asking myself a lot lately. I don’t feel that it is my personality or looks that can make me potentially unlovable; I feel that it is my fear. I don’t feel I am good enough to be loved.
I am direct and to the point with almost everything in my life, yet I lie to myself everyday. I tell myself that I don’t care that I haven’t had someone interested in me in years and if I have I am oblivious to it. I care; I care so much it borders on obsession.
Everyone has his or her strengths, mine happens to be that I am a good bullshitter. I am the used car sales man of life. I can make people feel they are the center of my world when in fact they are just a number. They are the means to me making more money. After long interactions that happen outside of my job, with friends and such, people have the ability to see my lack of substance. I like to say I give good face however all it happens to be is face.
When did I become so damaged, why did I become so damaged? Are there any real answers to these questions?
I am direct and to the point with almost everything in my life, yet I lie to myself everyday. I tell myself that I don’t care that I haven’t had someone interested in me in years and if I have I am oblivious to it. I care; I care so much it borders on obsession.
Everyone has his or her strengths, mine happens to be that I am a good bullshitter. I am the used car sales man of life. I can make people feel they are the center of my world when in fact they are just a number. They are the means to me making more money. After long interactions that happen outside of my job, with friends and such, people have the ability to see my lack of substance. I like to say I give good face however all it happens to be is face.
When did I become so damaged, why did I become so damaged? Are there any real answers to these questions?
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